Obsession On The ‘Used To’ Feeling

Dec 19 11:16 am

The thought of you with your new gf feels like all my bones may break. Muscles in my heart cramps seeing your posts and statuses about her. Is she the one? I don’t know what I truly feel about you F but if this ain’t love then what is it? For 14 yrs I’ve been looking up to you as my basis of perfection for a boy that I want. I know setting standards isn’t ideal but it’s human nature that you have a picture-perfect someone in your life. I don’t think putting you in my head stops me to grow, infact it makes me realize a lot of things. I keep on saying I should let this feelings fly somewhere, outer space maybe where it doesn’t have the chance to go back but everytime I tried, the feeling leaves with string like a balloon attached to my heart. I can always pull it back. The real problem is I can’t cut the string and let the feeling fly freely. I just can’t. I can’t. Everything about it is just in my head, I am fully aware of that however for some reasons I can’t fathom why I can’t let you go. Half of my life you were part of it virtually. I’ll keep you until I find the person given by God for me. It may take me some time I can feel that. For now I thank you for keeping my imagination active. You’re the reason why I want to strive hard on achieving my dreams. You don’t have to know all of these. Well I should say you will not know everything about my fantasies and imagination. I’ll keep you hidden forever in my treasure chest.

K.

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