still

fixing a heart

No matter how much I deny to myself that I’m no longer into you…the feeling remains the same. The first time I saw your picture together I thought she is just another pass time girl. Days went on and I still see her on your wall page and in some of your social media accounts. She became a reoccurring character in your life. Part of me wanted you to get rid of her while the other half wants you to be happy even if it means its going to be under her arms. Slowly I was able to accept that this is all we could be. I am and forever will be a nobody to you. I was already in the process of forgetting you and this pity feelings but then I saw you with her in person with my 2 naked eyes. You were so happy and inlove. That smile I saw on your lips is just a surface on how much you truly love her. It hit me again and I died a thousand deaths. The way you look at her seems like she’s the only girl in the world, the way you hold her hands like you are very afraid to lose her and the way you caress her arms and shoulder seems like she is your world. I don’t know what to feel. I could not understand those emotions in my heart at that moment. You were so inlove with her. The deepest part of my core gathered all its power to help me stand up and stay still. I still believe that my feelings for you is much more powerful than your love for each other. I don’t know. Maybe. However, I am happy for you. You found your match. I’m just hoping that one day I get over you and move on. How silly of me to talk about these things when you don’t even know who I am. It’s alright it doesn’t matter anyways. For when you love, you always give and give without getting or asking something in return.

ily FXC.

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2 thoughts on “still

  1. Maybe it’s the “idea of him” that you are still clinging onto, love. Maybe you can use this pain you are feeling now to find yourself, the girl that was fine on her own, way before he even came into the picture. Maybe God placed HER in the picture because he’s not the right one for you. Gwapa and bright kaayo ka with the best of intentions, please trust me that you will be laughing at all of this someday. Just as I have. If you’re giving this man all this love when he’s clearly the wrong choice, imagine how happy you’d be when you’re finally with the right one. I miss and love you always.

    One day at a time, love.

    1. As always, your words of wisdom amazes me so much sangay. Thank you. I’m also thinking about the same thing but obviously it’s hard to see clearly when I am inside this circle. Good thing people like you is there to take a loot of what’s going on giving me good advises like this one. I miss and love you too 🙂 See you soonest! xD

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