Emotions I won’t tell (Tired)

Like the song “Tomorrow” by Avril Lavigne, I wanna believe you that everything will be okay but not today… I hope tomorrow. For the past few days, I tried to forget everything about you. It’s not that I cared less but because I am falling deeper and deeper each day. I get infected by something I’m not sure what to call. This feeling is new to me, it’s so strange I can’t even understand my own mind and heart. Maybe I am overthinking but honestly, all I want to do is to see you personally. I hate this little production in my head playing scenarios that one day there’s you and me walking down the streets of somewhere eating ice cream on a hot day, drinking coffee talking about random stuff or just plainly sitting next to each other holding hands while watching the stars and moon. I want to get rid of the feeling and if I do that I know I should not talk to you but at the same time I can’t let you go. I can’t. I don’t want to. I am overthinking… I know that. I cried and it was the most satisfying cry I had for how many days. I imagined you and her back together, I was at the corner smiling because I’m seeing you happy even if it pains me inside. Will that day come? I’m not sure if I can take the pain if that happens. You have no idea how much I keep myself busy just to get rid of you in my head. All I ever want is to forget that I have feelings for you. Wanna know why? Because I know you will never reciprocate. I’m tired of thinking about what ifs and maybe. I’m even too tired writing about this post coz I know it’s the same story over and over.

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