Am I becoming too open on what I feel about you? It makes me so afraid now that you have a wide idea of what I’m thinking. I’m afraid on what myself appears to be that sometimes I wear a mask to hide the truths my heart only knows. I wanna feel like myself again, the kind of me that doesn’t mind the evolution of everything around my circle. The motion of my world has been so slow lately, I’m counting the days and ask when will that time comes when you can finally say “I don’t remember the feelings anymore for her.” I know… it’ll NEVER happen. I’m feeling like a sponge, absorbing every leak there is and it consumes me. The dream I had with you earlier was so symbolic. I like the feeling of familiarity it gives me and how it was so natural for the both of us to communicate that way in my dreams. I know it has a personal meaning but that production yesterday was really something. Yesterday, I read the personalized astrology from Adrian and it talks about premonitory dreams. Oh God, I don’t want to assume really. I’m a bit okay now, and somehow my heart is not that heavy but I know deep inside I’m still hoping.
And what the fuck did just happen Kath? Maybe this is the sign I’ve been waiting for. Should I cut off the communication? Oh I should. You better Kath! One of these days I will cut if off. Maybe. Yeah, I should do that, it’s the only way I know. I love you but I’m tired of acting like a bandage. My heart is so tired honestly. The assumptions in my head makes me insane and I know, I really know you still have her in your heart. Always. Forgive me for being sensitive.