PS: Thank you online journal for listening to this crap and shit. Til again. xoxo
This is the story of a girl whom she thought that all she believed in before was slowly becoming unreal. She glanced at the calendar and saw July 10, 2015. It’s been 2 years and few months since it happened and for her it was only a memory of pain and sorrow that she’s longing to forget. She was on her way of opening to the world again, time by time she was gaining confidence. It was sedate but sure. She entertained, meet new friends and slowly she allowed people to take a view through an empty space of her heart. Almost all of them filled it with new memories. Good ones.
Just as when she was about to go outside her shell, it was a matter of split seconds when someone, did the same thing to her. You couldn’t draw the horror in her face, but she remained calm and steady. She told herself she’s been there before and now she can handle it without going back to her comfort zone. Without going back to where she used to stay.
It’s like a snap and history repeats itself. She couldn’t imagine it was that easy. She tried so hard to remain strong, but that was all in her mind. The courage is all inside her head. Somehow her heart is still vulnerable. It needs its shell back. It needs its lock again. She will hide. She will go back to that same thought she believed in. For how long? She can’t tell.
“My heart needs its carapace again”