Stars

I thought of you every single hour of every day. You are always here, in my mind and in my heart. Even if I choose to ignore the feelings, I know deep inside me that it won’t go away that easy. I trust our stars. I’ve seen our patterns and I believe them. Someday, when everything is okay, we will cross our roads again, in the most unexpected way like the first time we met. I’ll keep on loving you ’til then. I trust the universe and I believe what is already written. You will always and forever be my Gemini.leo_and_gemini_design___chosen_bateman_by_bloodytoeknuckle-d4nz1nn

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Left Hanging

I came across path with this man. I barely knew him, a couple of weeks maybe. Somehow he reminds me of someone from my past. It’s haunting me for that chapter is not yet close somehow. I’ve moved on and accepted what happened and what he did. I’m no longer in pain with that person, more like I am in pain for the action that has been done. Maybe part of me does not want to close its pages because it brings powerful feelings that helps me to write. It has its own sorcery that guides my heart and mind to complete an art. Going back to this person I just met, he makes me feel beautiful. I gained confidence and trust for myself. He gives courage, showed kindness and said the magic words or so I thought for he left me hanging just like what the first person did. I knew it’s coming and I already accepted everything before it happened. I am sure that nothing is wrong with me. I am convinced that it’s not my soul who has issues with this. It was them. It was them after all. There’s a little bit of sore in my heart, I’m still human anyways and I still have feelings. My mind wants to remember this through a poem.

How can I be so stupid?
I knew from the start.
How can you let it Cupid?
You stung my heart.

I was starting to open myself more
To the crowd I didn’t trust before
I am starting to explore
But you didn’t protect my core

I knew you’re like him
You are not sincere
But still I trusted
Even if I am in fear

And there it goes you left still
Despite of all my plea
My heart has its second fill
I’ll wait another forever ’til its free

Free to love again without terror
Free to enjoy life without pain
Free to know what life is about
Free to explore without feeling left out

Thank you still. I have learned a lot. I know each time I stumble and fall I am one step closer to the right person. Thanks for the pain for it gives me courage. Thanks for the memories for it gives me lesson that I can use in the next. The world is beautiful and I’m not gonna stop giving love until I find my perfect match. Good morning earthlings! xD

Shut

This is the story of a girl whom she thought that all she believed in before was slowly becoming unreal. She glanced at the calendar and saw July 10, 2015. It’s been 2 years and few months since it happened and for her it was only a memory of pain and sorrow that she’s longing to forget. She was on her way of opening to the world again, time by time she was gaining confidence. It was sedate but sure. She entertained, meet new friends and slowly she allowed people to take a view through an empty space of her heart. Almost all of them filled it with new memories. Good ones.

Just as when she was about to go outside her shell, it was a matter of split seconds when someone, did the same thing to her. You couldn’t draw the horror in her face, but she remained calm and steady. She told herself she’s been there before and now she can handle it without going back to her comfort zone. Without going back to where she used to stay.

It’s like a snap and history repeats itself. She couldn’t imagine it was that easy. She tried so hard to remain strong, but that was all in her mind. The courage is all inside her head. Somehow her heart is still vulnerable. It needs its shell back. It needs its lock again. She will hide. She will go back to that same thought she believed in. For how long? She can’t tell.

“My heart needs its carapace again”

Thanks JJ.